Ukrainian dolphins escape, armed and dangerous?

File:Dolphins 300.jpg


Business Insider is reporting that three trained military dolphins have escaped into the Black Sea.  The dolphins were in the middle of training exercises as part of Ukraine’s military mammal program before going AWOL.  While we all know about dolphins being used by militaries to search for mines, these dolphins are on a whole other level.  If the article’s sources are correct they are trained to kill enemy divers with pistols and knives attached to their heads and place explosives on enemy ships.  The Ukraine is denying the program even exists, so there’s no way of knowing if the dolphins were armed when they escaped.  Dolphins will be dolphins, and former soviet naval officer Yury Plyachenko stated that such escapes have happened in the past when the dolphins swim off to mate with wild dolphins and return after about a week. 


Well, I guess we should be happy that someone is finally working towards the ultimate fighting force of “sharks with frickin’ lasers beams attached their heads.”  I mean dolphins with pistols attached to their heads are the first step, right?  However, I wonder if by some bizarre quirk of fate the dolphins made the VERY long swim to the US East Coast, if politicians would call for background checks and gun control laws for aquatic mammals? 



Image Credit: Penyulap

About Suddenly John

John is an educator and a news enthusiast, as well as co-owner of Tavern Keepers. He was formerly an intern with Mercury One, doing daily research for The Glenn Beck Show as well as other products of TheBlaze. He now writes for Tavern Keepers, Right Side News, and He is also preparing to pursue a doctorate in Instructional Technology and works with online software companies to develop instructional aids.